Description

The Walt That Never Was
A masterpiece of inertia. A dazzling non-event in three acts of hesitation, each more underwhelming than the last. Choreographed entirely in the mind of someone who once watched Dancing with the Stars and thought, "How hard could it be?", this waltz is a tribute to ambition brutally mugged by reality.

Set to music that was never composed, with steps that defy rhythm, grace, or even basic spatial awareness, the performance boldly asks: What if we didn't try at all? And then answers that question with a resounding shuffle, a nervous cough, and someone tripping over their own self-doubt.

Critics hailed it as "a triumph of absence" and "a haunting reminder of why some dreams should stay inside the rehearsal room." The costumes? As imaginary as the applause. The chemistry between dancers? About as electric as two unplugged toasters.

The Walt That Never Was — coming soon to a bookstore near you, right after hell freezes and pigs nail a triple pirouette.